


Feels Like Forever ( Austin Carlile )

by Made_In_England



Category: Austin Carlile - Fandom, Of Mice & Men (Band)
Genre: F/M, of mice & men - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-14
Updated: 2015-06-26
Packaged: 2018-02-04 15:53:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 19,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1784725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Made_In_England/pseuds/Made_In_England





	1. Break Free

Chapter One:

 

“Spare me just 3 last words, I love you is all she heard.” I sang quietly as an old Hawthorne Heights song played through my headphones. It was 2:30 am, and I was lying in my bed reading Cosmo, unable to sleep. I heard what sounded like a loud bang and I yanked my headphones out of my ears. It was quiet for a few seconds before I heard more banging coming from down the hall.

 

As far as I knew I was home alone; my older brother Josh had gone out with his friends earlier in the evening. He would’ve shouted to let me know he was home; he always did. I jumped as I heard strange noises again. I climbed out of bed, choosing to go investigate and I grabbed my guitar to use as a weapon. It was the only thing in my sight that would take down someone if I had to. I walked slowly down the hall, heading through the living room and towards the kitchen. I reached the doorway and walked in slowly, my hands clutching my guitar up over my head. I flipped the light on and screamed a little as I came face to face with a very tall stranger, covered in tattoos. The guy was rummaging through the cabinets, grabbing bottles of alcohol.

 

“Woah,” he said, as he set down the bottle he was clutching and threw his hands up in the air in defense.

 

“Who are you?” I questioned as I eyed him.

 

“Um… I’m Austin… uhh… Josh’s friend,” he muttered quickly. I let out a deep breath, lowering the guitar to the floor, my heartbeat slowing slightly. “Wait… were you going to bludgeon me with a guitar?” he asked as he raised an eyebrow, biting his bottom lip as he tried not to laugh.

 

“I was prepared to! You scared the shit out of me! I thought I was home alone!” I replied, trying to catch my breath. He was silent for a moment and I noticed him smirk and subtly look me up and down. It was then I realized what I was wearing: a sports bra and a pair of rather short running shorts. I fake coughed as I felt my cheeks blush, and I turned to walk back to my room.

 

“Well, what do I owe this pleasant surprise?” I heard my brother’s best friend, Alan, say as he entered the kitchen from the other direction. I turned around and flipped him off, his face mocking hurt as my brother entered the kitchen behind him.

 

“Dude, that’s my sister!” Josh said as he smacked Alan on the back of the head. I chuckled as Josh nodded in my direction, acknowledging me. “I came to see what all of the commotion was in here,” he said as he opened the fridge and pulled out a beer.

 

“Your sister tried to attack me with a guitar,” the tattooed guy, Austin, replied, laughing heartily.

 

“Okay. I didn’t know you were home, I heard noises and got freaked out, so I decided to investigate. I had to be prepared to defend myself!” I said, my voice fluctuating in defense as the 3 boys laughed. “I’m gonna go back to my room, now. You fuckers have fun,” I said smirking as I began to walk back through the living room to the hallway.

 

“She’s mouthy, that one. I love it,” Alan shouted after me as I reached my bedroom, yanking the door open and slamming it shut behind me. I collapsed on my bed, thinking about Austin. He looked really familiar, but I don’t think I had met him before, which was weird because I knew practically all of my brother’s friends…Why had I never seen him before? And why did he look so freaking familiar to me?

 

He was absolutely, completely gorgeous! I had a weakness for brown eyes and tattoos. That nose ring was very sexy, too. I shut off my lamp and crawled under the covers. I closed my eyes and heard my phone buzz. I picked it up and rolled my eyes at the message on the screen: I was in no mood for this right now. I ignored the message and drifted off to sleep. Surprisingly I wasn’t replaying the embarrassment I had just suffered, but instead I couldn’t stop thinking about Austin, hoping I would see him again. I shouldn’t be thinking about him like that, it wasn’t right, but I couldn’t help it.

 

I woke up to my alarm buzzing incessantly. I pulled myself out of bed, and began to get ready to go to work. I hopped in the shower, hurriedly washing my hair and shaving my legs. I got out and blow-dried my hair quickly, then moved on to makeup.

 

I emerged from the bathroom to get dressed. I threw on a tight black v-neck, jean shorts, and my red Vans. I placed a black beanie over my long, wavy bright-red hair, and replaced my nose stud with a silver hoop. I grabbed my bag, my keys, and my phone, and walked out of my room, heading in the direction of the kitchen as the scent of fresh coffee filled the air. It wasn't even 9 am: I was going to need some of that to get through this day.

 

I laughed out loud at the sight in the living room: my brother was nowhere to be seen, Austin was half hanging off the couch, still asleep, and Alan, who was only in his underwear for some reason, was sprawled out on the floor passed out. I walked over to Alan and sat on his chest. I leaned over so my lips were barely grazing his ear.

 

“Morning Alan!” I yelled loudly, right in his face.

 

“Ahhhhhhhh!” He yelled as he came out of his slumber, pushing me off of him as his screams filled the air. I laid on the floor, laughing loudly at myself as Alan jumped straight up, trying to calm his breathing.

 

“Ha ha ha, you’re fucking hilarious, Tyler!” Alan said sarcastically, before stomping off to the bathroom. I picked myself up off of the ground and fixed my shirt. I heard someone clear their throat and I looked over towards the sound to see Austin awake and sitting up, staring at me.

 

“Hey,” he said before quickly looking away. Was he blushing?

 

“Hi,” I responded softly before walking into the kitchen to get that coffee. I poured some into a travel mug and hollered at Josh to let him know I was leaving. I took a long drink of the warm liquid as I walked back through the living room towards the front door. As I passed Austin I gave him a small wave, and he responded by flashing me a huge, beautiful smile.

 

As I shut the door I felt like I was going to pass out. He was so cute! I shook my head, trying to clear the thoughts out of my mind, thoughts that shouldn’t be there. I got into my car and backed out of the driveway quickly, the picture of Austin’s smile burned into my mind.

 

It was going to be a long day.


	2. Let Live

Chapter Two:

 

Work was dragging by slower than ever. Being that it was the middle of the day on a Wednesday, there weren’t many people out roaming the mall today. I hadn’t helped more than 2 people in the entire 3 hours that I had been here.

 

I was sitting behind the counter, drinking a Rockstar and flipping through an AP magazine. I turned the page and a familiar ginger caught my eye. I smiled and paused to read the caption that was below the picture. As my eyes moved to the next page my sights landed on a familiar tall, tattooed man. I choked on my energy drink, almost spitting it out everywhere.

 

“You okay out there?” my co-worker, Ryan, hollered from the back room.

 

“Mhhhmmmm,” I managed to reply as I coughed.

 

Austin Carlile… of course! That’s why he looked so familiar. I should’ve put 2 and 2 together. Alan is in Of Mice and Men, and he is hanging out with a guy named Austin. Man, I was such a dumbass for not figuring that out sooner. You would think I would start to fangirl and freak out over the fact that I had met THE Austin Carlile, but that wasn’t really my style. I had known Alan all these years, and having him around has taught me to act normal around those people.

No, instead I was mortified that I had almost beaten him with my guitar while practically naked.

 

I heard my phone ringing and I pulled it out of my pocket, sighing deeply as I saw my boyfriend’s picture on the screen.

 

“Hello,” I answered, trying not to sound too annoyed.

 

“Tyler, where are you?” He asked angrily.

 

“Um, I’m at work…..” I said, confused as to why he was acting like this… again.

 

“I texted you last night. Why didn’t you text me back,” he asked.

 

“I was asleep. Listen, Kody, I’m working and I can’t talk right now,” I said and quickly hung up the phone. I was getting really tired of this, of him always having to know where I was, who I was with, and what I was doing. It was getting real old, real quick. I dropped my phone on the counter as I heard the dinging that signaled a customer had entered the store.

 

“Hi, welcome to Journey’s. Can I-“ I paused as I saw Alan waltzing into the store. “Oh, it’s just you,” I said, looking back down at my phone angrily, as Kody tried calling over and over.

 

“Woah, what’s wrong with you?” Alan asked as he reached the counter and rested his arms on it. He followed my gaze and saw my phone lighting up. He looked up at me. “Oh. Is he being a douchebag again?” he asked and I just nodded my head in response. Alan reached his hand out and rubbed my arm.

 

Alan was practically like a brother to me. He had been best friends with Josh since they were teenagers. Alan and I were the same age, and we had always gotten along really well, even though we were always giving each other shit. Even though he started out as my brother’s friend, we became really close; he was one of my best friends and he knew everything about me, and I knew everything about him. The three of us- me, my brother, and Alan- were practically inseparable.

 

“Wanna take your break and go get some food?” he asked me, pulling me out of my thoughts.

 

“Yeah, hold on,” I said as I got up and walked into the back to find Ryan. “Hey, Ry, I’m going to take my break and eat something. That cool?” I asked him as he was busy stocking shelves. He gave me a thumbs up and told me to have fun before I turned and walked back out into the store. As I rounded the corner I saw Alan talking to someone at the counter, someone whose back was to me. Alan noticed me and smiled, the other person turning around and smiling at me also. Of course: Austin Carlile.

“Ready?” Alan asked and I nodded my head and grabbed my phone, shoving it into the back pocket of my shorts. “Oh, Carlile’s coming too if that’s cool. I’m in charge of his crazy ass today,” Alan said smirking as Austin smacked his arm hard. I shrugged my shoulders, unable to speak. What was wrong with me?

 

The three of us walked awkwardly to the almost empty food court, stopping to wait in line for Chinese food. We ordered and I made my way to front, shoving myself in front of Alan to pay for all of our food. Alan and Austin practically yelled at me for doing so, but it was too late. I found us a table and sat down, waiting for them to make their way over. They took a seat and began chatting with each other, but I was lost in my thoughts.

 

I couldn’t stop thinking about Kody, about how mad he was making me, how much I didn’t even want to talk to him anymore. You shouldn’t feel that way about your own boyfriend, your boyfriend of 2 years who you love, right? I was pushing the rice around my plate, staring at it, lost in my mind, not even taking a bite.

 

“Ty…. Ty! Tyyyllleeerrr!!” I finally heard Alan say as he poked my arm and I snapped out of it, turning my head to look at him.

 

“Huh? Sorry,” I muttered as I directed my attention back to my plate. I briefly glanced up and saw Austin looking at me. He looked…concerned, almost.

 

“Are you okay? I was talking to you for like 2 minutes,” Alan said softly as he looked at me. I shook my head, knowing I didn’t convince Alan that I was fine. He knew me too well. “Quit thinking about that asshole, okay? You’re here with your bestie, well your brother’s bestie, who happens to be a rock star and a ginger!” he said, trying to make me laugh, which he succeeded at. I laughed as I shook my head at him.

 

We fell into easy conversation as we ate. I tried to push Kody out of my mind, and it was getting easier and easier as I kept seeing Austin smiling at me. Our lunch was interrupted when a group of teenage girls came rushing over to the table, seeking autographs and pictures from Austin and Alan. Alan basked in the moment, jumping up from the table quickly to satisfy the fans. Austin looked at me, his eyes sad.

 

“Sorry,” he muttered. I shook my head letting him know it was okay, I was used to it by now with Alan and all. He stood up slowly, signing the girls’ shirts and taking several pictures with them. The boys gave them hugs before the girls walked off, chattering giddily between themselves. I stood up and grabbed my trash.

 

“I, uh, gotta get back to work. See ya later,” I said quickly as I tossed my garbage away and walked awkwardly back to the store. I’m not sure why I felt so awkward and self-conscious all of a sudden, but I felt like I couldn’t breathe, like I had to get out of there. I could practically feel Austin’s eyes burning into my skin as I retreated away from the food court. I resumed my position at the counter, counting down the hours until I could go home and hide in my room for a while.


	3. Glass Hearts

Chapter Three:

 

I pulled into the driveway, thankful to finally be home. I sulked into the house, ready to collapse on my bed and not deal with anything…or anyone. I opened the front door and was surprised to see Josh sitting on the couch watching TV.

 

“Hey, Ty,” he said as he glanced at me. I smiled and tried to walk off to my room. “Hey, hold on a minute. Come here,” he said as he sat up straight and motioned me over. I walked to the couch and took a seat, pulling my legs up onto the couch and crossing them Indian style.

 

“Yes, Joshua?” I asked, wondering what this was about. He just looked at me, his face etched with worry and concern. Lovely. “Did Alan say something to you?” I questioned. He didn’t say anything and I knew that he had. I rubbed my face with my hands. “Great,” I mumbled.

 

“I’m just worried about you, Tyler. You haven’t been yourself lately. Kody has been treating you like shit, and you are just sitting there and taking it!” he said as his voice raised at bit. I didn’t say anything; I was too mad. Mad at Alan and my brother for prying into things that weren’t any of their business. Josh paused and I decided I couldn’t stay silent any longer.

 

“Josh, this is really not any of your business! I’m an adult; I can take care of myself!” I yelled at him. It shocked him, and myself; I never yelled: ever. I looked down, mad at myself for taking this out on him. He placed a hand on my shoulder.

 

“Tyler, I’m just trying to look out for you. You’re my little sister, and I love you more than anything in the whole world. I’m not trying to tell you what to do with your life. I know you’re 22 and you can handle your own problems, but I’m always going to be here for you. I just want what’s best for you, and lately I feel that Kody isn’t that. He isn’t making you happy, he’s calling you 24/7, and it’s affected you,” he said. I took a deep breath, everything he was saying was true.

 

My brother was my best friend in the entire world. We hadn’t always gotten along very well, but as we became teenagers we really bonded, and from then on we have been very close. He had always been there anytime I needed anything, always putting me above his friends, and I loved him for that. He could give me the best advice, and he was great at playing the protective older brother, but we were also great friends. We always had fun partying and drinking and just hanging out together. We loved hanging out with each other so much that we bought a house together last year, and things were great with us.

 

“I know, and I appreciate it. I’m sorry I yelled…I’ve just been stressed. I’m going to deal with it, I know I have to. It’s just...he’s been a big part of my life for 2 years. It’s not easy to just throw that all away, but I know that things aren’t working anymore, and I’m getting sick and tired of taking all the bullshit,” I said as I gave Josh a weak smile. “Thanks for your concern, though,” I said as I got up. Josh got up as well, grabbed his keys and walked for the door.

 

“Anytime, sis. I have to go pick up Alan. I’ll be back in a few hours. If you need something holler,” Josh responded as he walked out the door. I walked down the hallway to my room. I took off my shoes, and pulled the beanie off of my head. I threw my hair up into a messy ponytail, and made my way to my desk to do some homework. I heard a loud knock at the front door, and I got up to answer it. I opened the door and let out a big sigh. Speak of the fucking devil.

 

“Hey,” I said quietly as I glared at Kody standing in the doorway. He could tell I was pissed.

 

“Ty, I’m sorry about earlier. Can I come in for a minute? Please?” he asked. I didn’t want to let him in, I knew he would find a way to rope me back in, but I let him in anyway. He walked past me and made his way down the hall to my room. I followed him, shutting the door behind us. I stood against the door, my arms crossed over my chest, glaring at him as he sat on the edge of my bed. He looked over at me.

 

“Babe, I’m sorry I’ve been acting like an ass. I just feel like I’ve hardly seen you: you’re so busy with school and work, and you’re always hanging out with your brother and his friends, and I just-I just miss you,” he said, looking at me with his beautiful blue eyes. I tried to avoid meeting his gaze, trying to stay strong.

 

“Kody, if you miss me why can’t you just say so? Instead, you blow up my phone constantly, and get all possessive. I’m not okay with that,” I said angrily. “It’s like you don’t trust me…you’re always trying to keep tabs on me.”

 

“I know…I don’t know why I’ve been acting like this lately. That isn’t me. I’m just afraid I’m losing you, like you’re moving on with your life and I’m going to get left behind,” he said. I couldn’t tell if he was bullshitting me or if he was being sincere. My eyes met his, and I let my guard down. I walked over to him and sat on his lap, wrapping my legs around his waist.

 

“You weren’t losing me, Kody. But if you keep acting like this you will because I can’t live like that,” I said honestly as he gazed into my eyes. As I looked at him all the reasons I loved him came flooding back.

 

He was extremely good looking, first of all. He had spiky, black hair, his face was chiseled, his eyes bright blue. His tanned body was toned, his muscular arms covered with tattoos. Plus, when he wasn’t being a dick he was a great guy: he was funny, kind, and he loved me.

 

“I love you, Tyler Elaine Rhodes,” he said, making my heart beat fast. I put my hands on his face and moved my lips as close to his as I could without them touching.

 

“I love you too, Kody Mason Reinhardt. Just quit being an ass,” I said, smirking as my lips grazed his. I grabbed the back of his head and pushed my lips to his, almost melting as his hands made their way to my hips.

 

This is what Kody and I do: we fight and makeup, fight and makeup. It wasn’t always like this; it started about a year ago. You would think I would have learned by now, but he finds ways to pull me back in. And then things are great for a while before turning to crap again. I should listen to my head, but my heart was in control when it came to Kody.

 

I grabbed a hold of his lip ring with my teeth, pulling on it a little as he let out a moan. I took the opportunity to move my tongue into his mouth, exploring his mouth as he did the same to me. He pushed my shirt up a little as he moved his hands over my sides and my back. My mind became clouded, and I couldn’t stop myself, even though part of me was still mad and annoyed. I grabbed the bottom of his shirt, separating my mouth from his as I lifted it up over his head, tossing it to the floor. I moved my lips to his neck, softly kissing down until I found the spot that made him moan. I sucked and bit at it for a while as my hands explored his bare chest and back.

 

Kody reached for the hem of my shirt, pulling it over my head before flipping us over so I was laying on the bed with him hovering over me. He attached his lips to my neck, kissing all the way down my chest and back up as his hands explored my body. I reached up and worked at his jeans as my breathing began to get shallow, an occasional moan escaping from my mouth as his lips and tongue ran over my upper body. He reached his hands down and pushed his jeans all the way off, before reaching for my shorts and pulling them down my legs.

 

He pressed his body against mine as our lips met once again, moving feverishly with each other. Kody reached behind me to undo my bra, tossing it to the side. He pulled his mouth back up to mine, letting out a low growl then biting my lip playfully. He grabbed my underwear and pulled them down forcefully.

 

* * *

 

I collapsed next to him as we tried to control our breathing. When I had regained myself I looked up and kissed him once more before getting up. I grabbed my clothes off the floor, putting them back on quickly. I grabbed his clothes and tossed them at him as he gave me a questioning look.

 

“My brother will be home any minute. Let’s try to avoid that awkwardness okay?” I said cringing at the thought of Josh walking in. He laughed a little and obliged, putting his clothes back on. I fixed my hair and took a seat at my desk to resume my homework, while Kody laid on my bed and turned the TV on. Practically a minute later my bedroom door flew open, revealing Alan on the other side. He looked at me, then over at Kody, then back at me, eyeing me suspiciously.

 

“Can I help you with something ginger princess?” I asked him, looking back down to my homework. He was silent and I looked up at him, raising an eyebrow in question. “Yes?” I asked again. He shook his head at me as a smirk crept onto his lips. He turned around and walked back to the living room, leaving the door wide open. I just shook my head and looked at Kody, who looked a little pissed but let out a little laugh. He shut the TV off and got up, walking over to me.

 

“I better go, baby. I’ll let you finish up your homework,” he said as he kissed the top of my head. He squatted down so he was eye level with me. “I really am sorry, Tyler. I’m going to try to fix it, okay. I promise,” he said as he smiled a little. I grabbed his face and kissed him quickly before getting up and pulling him to the front door. I walked into the living room and immediately 4 sets of eyes were on Kody and I. I looked towards the couch to see Josh, Josh’s girlfriend Lydia, Alan, and, of course, Austin, all staring at us. I bit my lip out of nervousness as Kody and I walked to the door. I opened it before standing up on my toes to kiss him quickly. He kissed me back before turning and walking out of the door.

 

I turned around and my eyes flashed to Austin. He looked…jealous. His body was tense, his fists clinging tightly to the couch, his eyes squinted together as if they were angry. That didn’t make any sense, though. Why would he be jealous? He doesn’t even know me…

 

“I just want to thank you all for making me feel more awkward than I ever have in my entire life!” I said loudly. “What the hell was with the death glares?” I asked. Alan started to say something, but decided against it, sitting back against the couch.

 

“Tyler, we’re just worried about you is all. That’s it, that’s all I’m gonna say. I’m sorry for making you feel awkward,” my brother said as Lydia glared at him, silently telling him to quit talking. I shot her a thankful smile, which she returned.

 

“Okay, well this was fun, but I’m going to go hide in my room now,” I said sarcastically, turning on my heels and slamming my door like a teenager when I got inside. I sat at the desk and buried my face in my hands. I had done it again, I had let him back in (no pun intended), and I know I shouldn’t have. Nothing is going to change, it never does.


	4. Space Enough To Grow

Chapter Four:

 

I had been working on my homework for a few hours now, still nowhere near being caught up. I had been too distracted and too busy to care about my homework lately. I was already so far behind, and at this point I was tempted to drop all of my classes and try again next year or just drop the whole school idea all together. I cranked my iPod up louder, allowing the sounds of Slipknot to fill my room. I rested my head on my desk trying to forget about everything: school, work, Kody and Austin, whose beautiful smile and kind demeanor still flashed through my mind. It didn’t help that he had been hanging around all day.

 

Over the music I heard a light knock on my door, and I hollered loudly, giving permission to whoever was there to enter. I didn’t bother to raise my head from my desk to see who had opened the door. When they spoke I was pleasantly surprised.

 

“Hey, I’m sorry to bother you, but Josh, Alan, and Lydia went to pick up some pizzas and he wanted me to let you know,” Austin said sweetly as he glanced around my spacious room.

 

“Thanks,” I whispered nervously and I glanced up at him quickly.

 

“You’re a Slipknot fan?” he asked in disbelief as he recognized the song blasting through the speakers.

 

“Is that a bad thing?” I asked nervously as he waltzed into my room and took a seat on the edge of my bed.

 

“Hell no! Slipknot is my favorite,” he said excitedly as he drummed along to the beat on his slender legs. I looked back to the books open on my desk and let out a big sigh as I flipped through them, realizing how much I really had left. “You okay?” I heard Austin ask. I turned my chair to look at him and he smiled sadly at me.

 

“Yeah, I’m just really behind with all of my schoolwork and it’s stressing me out, and then everything with Kody-“I paused, realizing I was about to spill my guts to a complete stranger. “Um, nevermind.” I said nervously as I turned back around. Austin was quiet for a while and I turned back around to face him; he had a weird look on his face. “What?” I asked, confused.

 

“Are you still in high school?” he replied as if he was worried. I looked at him and started cracking up uncontrollably.

 

“Wow, Austin, I know I’m short and all, but jeez! That hurt,” I replied to his question, laughing even harder. He seemed to ease up and he chuckled a little. “No, I’m 22. If I were still in high school that’d be pretty damn sad. But, there is this thing called college, Austin, and sometimes people go there to further their education so they can get a job. We can’t all be rock stars,” I said as I smiled. I felt the tension begin to fade between us, and all the shit I had been thinking about was leaving my mind. I’m not sure why I felt so comfortable around him all of a sudden; I had never felt that way before. He smiled back at me.

 

“Sorry, I just heard homework and started to freak out because I think you’re cute and all, and-“ he paused as his eyes opened wide. “Uhh, I mean, uhhh, sorry I didn’t mean to,” he was rambling as he tried to figure out what to say. I felt my cheeks turn red as I blushed. Austin thought I was cute?

 

“Um, no it’s okay,” I said as I turned away from him until my face calmed down. I felt the awkwardness creeping in again, but this time I was determined to keep it away.

 

“So, how long have you known my brother? I mean, I haven’t ever seen you hanging around before,” I asked trying to switch the subject and ease the tension.

 

“Oh, yeah I’ve known Josh for a while. Alan introduced us a few months ago, but we’ve been pretty busy touring and stuff, and I was going through some stuff in my personal life so I was taking some time to myself for a while.” His response was simple and sincere, but when he spoke about his personal life his face dropped. He looked sad and hurt, and I so badly wanted to ask him if he was okay, but I didn’t want to push it. I didn’t even know him; it wasn’t any of my business. “I didn’t know Josh had a sister, let alone one as cool as you. I mean, how many girls like Slipknot these days?” he smiled at me and I almost melted.

 

“Yeah, well he doesn’t like to tell people about me because he knows that his friends will like me better than him. He’s jealous of how awesome my life is,” I said with a hint of sarcasm, laughing a little as I smiled back at Austin. Our eyes met and for some reason I was drawn to him; I couldn’t look away. We just sat there and looked at each other. I got the urge to kiss him, out of the blue, right then and there, and honestly I probably would have if we wouldn’t have heard the front door open as Josh and Alan came in with the food. He cleared his throat as he looked away and stood up.

 

“Let’s eat, shall we?” he asked as he reached his hand out to me. I took it as he pulled me up from the chair and we walked down the hall to the living room, our hands still clinging to each other for dear life, neither one of us wanting to let go.


	5. Another You

Chapter Five:

 

Austin and I joined Alan and Josh in the kitchen, dropping each other’s hands just in time to remain unnoticed.

 

“Where’d Lydia go?” I asked as I maneuvered around Alan to the cabinet, grabbing plates for the 4 of us.

 

“She had some family dinner to go to tonight,” Josh responded, his mouth already full of pizza.

 

“Ugh, lovely. Just when I thought there would be another girl around for once I’m stuck with you losers again,” I said, laughing as I stuck my tongue out in Alan’s direction.

 

“Oh, you know you love this ginger,” he replied, pointing at himself. I shook my head laughing, rolling my eyes as I opened the pizza box and plopped a couple pieces down on my plate. I looked up at Austin standing next to me, and put a few pieces on his plate as well as he smiled down at me.

 

“Here, Ty,” Josh hollered as he shoved two bottles of beer in my direction. I took them both, handing one to Austin who eyed me questioningly. I smirked at him as I popped the top off of the cold, glass bottle, taking a long swig. We all made our way to the living room to watch TV as we ate. I took a seat on the couch, Alan on one side of me, Austin occupying the other side, my brother stretched out alone on the loveseat. Josh turned on the end of some UFC fight and we all ate in silence, watching the fight take place. I finished my pizza and set the plate on the coffee table. I curled my legs up underneath me and sipped at my beer as I watched the fight. It was really entertaining, watching 2 grown men beat the crap out of each other. I could feel Austin staring at me and I smiled a little, but didn’t look over at him.

 

The fight ended and I picked up everyone’s plates and empty bottles and took them to the kitchen and began to clean up. If I didn’t do it no one would. I put the leftover pizza in the fridge and grabbed four more beers before walking back into the living room.

 

“It’s Rock Band time, Tyler!” Alan shouted as I entered the room. I laughed: this was a weekly tradition with Alan, my brother, and I, when Alan was in town at least. I set the beers down on the table as Alan thrust the microphone in my direction. “Your turn to sing, Ty!” he said excitedly. I opened my mouth to object, but Josh cut me off.

 

“Yeah! I sang last time! It’s your turn, it’s only fair!” he whined as if he was a little kid. Josh had the guitar, Alan was holding the keyboard-thing, and Austin was seated behind the drums. I looked at him and he smiled at me as he hit the drumsticks together; he actually looked excited to play this stupid game.

 

“Okay, fine, but I get to pick the first song,” I yelled as I resumed my position between Alan and Austin. I grabbed the controller from Alan and scrolled through the song menu until I found the one I wanted, the song Josh and Alan hated to play more than anything.

 

“Oh, come on, Tyler, don’t be a bitch,” Alan moaned, annoyed. I smirked at him and pressed play.

 

“No, you’re making me sing so I’m making you play Free Bird,” I said, satisfaction in my voice.

 

The song began with Josh playing the guitar. The lyrics began to scroll across the top of the screen and I started to sing.

 

I belted out the song as if my life depended on it, hitting all of the notes, scoring all the vocal influxes. I danced along as the vocals came to a close and the instrumental picked up, the instrumental that seemed to never end. I sang the last note with vigor, giving it everything I had. The song came to an end and all eyes were on me. I grabbed my beer and took a big drink as I raised an eyebrow at everyone.

 

“Showoff!” Alan hollered, sending Josh into a fit of laughter. I glanced over and Austin was staring at me, his mouth open a little as if he was shocked.

 

“Holy shit… you’re incredible,” Austin said and I blushed a little. Alan placed his hand on my head and ruffled up my hair.

 

“Yeah this little one has quite the set of pipes, even though she hates to admit it.” I stuck my tongue out at him and he returned the gesture.

 

We played for another hour or so. I was having a lot of fun, which probably had to do with the fact that I was a little buzzed. I had moved on to a fourth beer, much to the objections of my brother, while everyone else cut themselves off after two. After we kicked ass at some Rob Zombie song we decided to call it a night.

 

“Alright I’m gonna take these two losers home and then I’m going to Lydia’s for the night. You gonna be okay here by yourself, boozy?” Josh mocked me; he always called me boozy after I had been drinking, even if I wasn’t drunk. I rolled my eyes as I stood up.

 

“Yes, Joshua, I’m an adult. I can take care of myself,” I smirked as I put my hands on my hips. He laughed and shook his head at me. I waved at him as he walked out into the night. Alan pulled me into a tight hug. “Get off me. You reek of ginger,” I said playfully as I pushed him away from me. He put his hand over his chest, acting hurt, and I leaned up and kissed his cheek. He smiled and messed with my hair once more before following Josh out the door. I followed closely behind Austin as he walked towards the door. He turned and pulled me into an unexpected hug. His tall frame towered over me, his arms wrapping around my shoulders and mine snaked around his waist. I never wanted to let go: he smelled so good, and I felt like I belonged here, in his arms. He pulled away from me after a while and looked down at me.

 

“See ya around, Tyler,” he said smiling at me. I smiled back, feeling my cheeks blush.

 

“Yeah, see ya,” was all I managed to choke out. He smiled once more before racing off to Josh’s car. He jumped in and they all waved as they sped off into the distance. I shut the front door and slid down it, sitting on the soft carpet. I put my head in my hands. Earlier that day, I had almost broke up with my boyfriend, then made up and had sex. Mere hours later I was practically drooling all over Austin, and it may have just been my imagination, but it was as if he was flirting back.

 

What in the world was I going to do with myself?


	6. My Understandings

Chapter Six:

 

It had been almost 3 weeks since I had seen or talked to Austin. The last time we were together, was the night we played Rock Band for hours. A few days after that, Austin, Alan, and the other band members, left for a 2 week tour in the UK. Their plane was due to arrive and I was hoping to get to see Alan… and Austin.

 

Honestly, I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about him; the way that he asked if I was okay, the way he held my hand as we walked down the hallway, the way he complimented my singing, and that hug he gave me. I know he didn’t think of me in that way; he’s practically famous for crying out loud! Who was I? Just some 22 year old nobody who was struggling through college and working at the mall, who lives with her older brother, who Austin happens to be good friends with.

 

Things with Kody had got slightly better, but not great. Surprisingly he had dropped the possessiveness, but in turn he did a complete 180 and would go days without trying to get a hold of me. That wasn’t exactly what I had in mind when I said things had to change. When we did spend time together things were great; he was the amazing guy that I had fallen in love with, but he seemed to be distancing himself from me, and I found myself doing the same with him. I still loved him, and when we were together nothing else mattered but us, but on those days he didn’t call me or the days he blew me off I realized it didn’t hurt near as much as it should.

 

It was 6 pm and I had just left work after a long, extremely busy Saturday of dealing with obnoxious teenagers. Something about being out in public with their friends made them turn into idiots. But it came with the job, and I had learned to deal with it over the years. I decided randomly to stop by Kody’s to say hey. We needed to talk and figure out what this thing was. I surely couldn’t be the only one who noticed the change in our relationship. I picked up my phone to call him, but decided to surprise him instead in an effort to keep the romance alive and what not.

 

I pulled up in front of his apartment complex. I walked to his door and knocked a few times, not getting a response. His car was parked out front so I knew he was home. I pulled my keys out and unlocked the door with the spare key he had given me a while back. I’m guessing he forgot I had it.

 

I opened the door and took one step into the apartment before stopping dead in my tracks. Kody was home alright, but he wasn’t alone. Some blonde girl was sitting on his lap, wearing nothing but a pair of lacy panties, if you can even call them underwear, and they were practically eating each other’s faces off. I cleared my throat causing Kody to look up at me, his eyes going wide.

 

“Seriously?” I yelled, scoffing under my breath. I shook my head and turned to leave as Kody shoved the half naked girl off of him and stormed after me. I was walking as fast as I could, going down the steps 2 at time, and keeping up my pace until I reached my car, Kody not too far behind.

 

“Tyler! Wait! Please, Tyler hold on,” he said as he caught up to me, grabbing a hold of my arm. I turned to look at him. I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes, which was the last thing I wanted right now.

 

“What Kody? Are you going to try to explain? Say it wasn’t what I think? Because you can’t talk your way out of what I just witnessed in there,” I said, my voice angry and shaky.

 

“Tyler, I’m sorry-” I cut him off before he could say anymore.

 

“Is this why you’ve been ignoring me the past couple of weeks? Because you’ve been fucking some slut behind my back?” I barked at him, his eyes wandering towards the ground unable to look at me. “Yeah, figures. So….we’re done, Kody. For good.”

 

“Tyler, please… I love you so much,” he pleaded with me and I yanked my arm from his grasp.

 

“Yeah Kody, I can tell! Good to know those 2 years meant so much to you that you could just throw it away for some bleach-blonde bitch!” I yelled as I felt a tear escape my clutches and roll down my cheek. I unlocked my car and yanked open the door. “I’ll come by for my stuff later. I’ll make sure to call first though in case you’re busy!” I got in the car and slammed the door, with Kody just standing there, watching me. His eyes appeared to be tearing up; he had no right to cry. He was the one to ruin what we had. I started the car and drove away, watching Kody in my rearview mirror as the tears began to fall freely now that I was alone.

 

I drove home in silence, sobbing the entire way. As bad as things with Kody had been, I still loved him. We had been together for 2 years and once upon a time things were perfect between us. I pulled into the driveway and turned off my car, not yet getting out. I willed the tears to stop and removed my make up. Josh was home and I didn’t want him asking questions, I wasn’t in the mood to talk. I finally collected myself enough and grabbed my bag. I opened the front door and almost ran into Josh as he was walking out.

 

“Woah! You scared me!” he said as we almost collided. I shot him a fake smile and pushed past him into the house. “Hey, I’m gonna go to the airport; Alan and the guys are coming back tonight and Alan asked me to come help with the gear and everything. Wanna come with?” he asked.

 

“No thanks,” I said sharply as I continued to walk towards my room.

 

“You okay, Tyler?” Josh yelled after me.

 

“Peachy!” I shouted back in response as I entered my room, slamming the door behind me. I half expected Josh to barge in any minute, but luckily he didn’t. After a few seconds I heard the front door shut and out my window I saw Josh drive off. I chucked my bag across the room and ran my hands through my hair. I didn’t want to cry anymore. I knew I shouldn’t cry over an asshole who cheated on me and broke my heart. I put my hair into a messy ponytail and took my contacts out. My eyes were stinging from the tears so I pulled my glasses out of my side table and put them on my face. I put on a pair of sweatpants and a tshirt and wandered off to the kitchen looking for something to eat.

 

I opened the fridge: nothing. I opened the freezer and instead of food I found something else: Vodka. I grabbed the bottle and took a big drink of the foul tasting liquor. I coughed a little as my throat burned, but I shook it off and downed another big drink. I looked toward the freezer and slammed the door shut, taking the bottle with me to my room.

 

Not my best moment in decision making, but I needed to numb the pain.


	7. Purified

Chapter Seven:

 

As the sun set, I laid on my bed, staring out the window, lost in my thoughts. At this point I had downed about half of the bottle of Vodka, on an empty stomach. I think the term ‘drunk’ was an understatement. I was listening to a random mix of bad pop music, attempting to sing along but failing miserably. The shitty music always seemed to make me want to dance. To tell the truth, I wasn't coordinated sober, let alone completely wasted.

 

Kody had called a few times and I ignored all of them. I felt my phone vibrate and I picked it up, trying to focus my blurry vision on the small words on the screen. It was Kody.

 

Kody: Tyler, I’m so sorry. Will you please at least talk to me?

 

I was going to ignore him but I decided to text back.

 

Me: No. Why don’t you go fuck yourself!

 

I hit send and tossed my phone across the room so I wouldn’t have to hear it anymore. I grabbed the bottle of liquor off of my nightstand and tossed some more back; I had had so much it didn’t even burn anymore, which wasn’t a good sign. Some Lady Gaga song came on and for some reason I got really excited. I cranked the music up as loud as I could get it and stood on my bed, the bottle still in my hand. I sang along to the song, dancing and swaying on my bed, having a hard time keeping my balance. The song ended and I took another drink from the bottle, the liquid quickly disappearing from the glass bottle.

 

The next song that came on was "Oops, I Did it Again", which happened to be my favorite Britney Spears song of all time. I was no longer dancing, more just moving my body around strangely. I leaned over and set the bottle on the nightstand as the song came to an end. I heard the front door open and the sound of people talking loudly fill the house. I tried to get off of the bed and failed miserably, crashing hard to the ground. It actually hurt really bad, but I erupted into a fit of laughter as I rolled around on the ground. I must’ve made a really loud noise because my door flew open and Alan came walking into my room.

 

“My ginger is home!” I yelled obnoxiously, still laughing on the ground. Alan walked over to the side of my bed and looked at me questioningly.

 

“Why are you on the ground, Tyler?” he giggled a little.

 

“Why are you not on the ground, Alan Anthony Ashby?” I retorted, laughing at myself. “I tried to get off the bed and I just fell! I just tumbled right on down to this here spot right here!” I was rambling now; way to play it cool, Tyler! Alan bent over and grabbed my hands pulling me up from the ground. “Woah. This room is really dizzy!” I said as I tried to steady myself. I was still laughing for no reason; I couldn’t seem to make the giggles stop.

 

“Are you drunk?” Alan questioned, eyeing me with his eyebrows raised.

 

“What? Me? No! I am not drunk at all. You’re just blurry,” I choked out through a hiccup and I reached out and poked Alan's face. He gave me a disapproving glance, not taking his hands off of my shoulders. His eyes roamed around the room and landed on the bottle of vodka on my nightstand. He let go of me and took a few steps towards it, grabbing it and eyeing the small amount of liquid left.

 

“How much of this did you drink, Tyler?” His voice was loud and angry now, worry apparent in his tone.

 

“Pffffttt- I don’t know. I had some earlier, and then I had some a little while after that, and then I had some a few minutes ago. I haven’t had that much,” I rolled my eyes and tried to walk away, losing my balance and falling back to the ground. “Owwwww… why is this floor so hard? I mean, it has carpet… it should be soft. But no, it isn’t. It is a very mean floor that likes to hurt, Tyler,” I mumbled to myself; I was talking nonsense now, which meant I was way past drunk. Alan walked past me, the bottle still in his hand until he was standing in my doorway.

 

“Josh! Will you come here for a minute, please?” Alan yelled angrily down the hallway towards the living room. I was still on the floor, petting the carpet and laughing to myself. I spotted my phone on the floor a few feet away from me and I crawled over towards it. From my spot on the floor I could see my brother’s feet enter the room with Alan’s, who slammed the door behind them. I sat up and looked at them. Alan was holding up the bottle of liquor in front of my brother’s face, mumbling quietly so I couldn’t hear.

 

“What the hell, Tyler?” Josh yelled before crouching in front of me.

 

“Why hello there Joshua. Did you know that even though this floor has carpet on it it’s still really hard? Why is that? I don’t like it,” I slurred out as my brother glared at me. He grabbed my face with his hands looking into my dilated eyes.

 

“Jesus, Ty. How much did you have to drink?” he asked basically rhetorically, knowing I wouldn’t answer. He stood up and talked to Alan again.

 

“I’m hungry,” I slurred out as I heard my stomach growl. “I haven’t had anything to eat in like 10 years.” I tried to push myself up off the floor, failing several times before I managed to get myself upright.

 

“Great, so not only have you downed almost an entire bottle of vodka, but you haven’t had anything to eat. What is going on with you? What happened?” Josh asked, his voice still angry.

 

“Hey. I’m just being me, Joshua. I’m having fun, I’m letting loose. But, I don’t want to talk to you anymore you’re being mean,” I pouted my lip out at him. I tried to walk past them out of the room but I kept tripping over myself. Josh stormed out of the room, taking the bottle with him. “Hey! That’s mine!” I tried lunging after him and Alan caught me before I slammed to the floor.

 

“C’mon. Let’s go get you some food,” Alan sighed as he picked me up and flung me over his shoulder. He began to walk out of the room and down the hallway.

 

“Wooooo!!! I like this! Everything is upside down! I wonder if this is how upside down people view the world?” Alan made his way through the living room and I could see Austin and Lydia sitting on the couch, eyeing Alan and I questioningly. “Yay! Austin is here! Austin… I missed you so much! I’m so glad you’re here because today is a great day! And Lydia is here! All of my friends are here, everyone that I love so very much came to see me!” I couldn’t stop talking, the words coming out without my consent. I was making a fool of myself, but I didn’t care at this point. We made it to the kitchen and Alan set me down on top of the counter. Josh thrust a plate with a sandwich on it in my direction and I took it gladly, shoving it into my mouth.

I could hear Alan and my brother talking to each other, but I couldn’t hear what they were saying. Alan wandered into the living room, leaving Josh and I alone.

“Why did mom and dad name me Tyler? That’s a boy’s name, and I’m not a boy. I mean I have boobs and stuff! Not even close to a boy. I’ve always wondered that, Joshua.” I said with my mouth stuffed full of the peanut butter sandwich. I finished the sandwich in record time. Josh handed me a water bottle, still looking at me like he was upset.

 

“Tyler, something is wrong. Will you please tell me what it is so I can help you? This isn’t you; you never drink like this ever!” He said, his voice calming down a bit. I chugged half of the bottle of water before setting it down.

 

“I’m f-fine,” I hiccupped out. “Can I go outside? I really want to go outside.” I tried to jump off the counter and Josh grabbed a hold of me, helping me onto my feet. I pushed away from him and stumbled through the kitchen to the living room, where Austin, Alan, and Lydia were seated, staring at me as I walked by. My eyes met Austin’s and he looked sad for some reason. I smiled widely at Austin and slowed a little. “Austin, has anyone ever told you that you’re really hot? I’m sure they have but I’m telling you now just in case you didn’t know or you forgot. You’re very pretty,” I slurred in his direction. Alan shook his head at the words coming out of my mouth and it looked like he was trying not to laugh.

 

“Ty, how about you come sit down?” Lydia offered, motioning towards the spot next to her on the couch. I shook my head at her before looking back towards the front door.

I picked up my pace and flung the front door open and made my way into the middle of the street, where I began to run around for no reason. I heard voices behind me and soon I felt arms around my waist. I saw a flash of red hair and knew it was Alan. He put me over his shoulder once again, but this time I didn’t want to be there.

“Put me down! Put me down!! Stranger danger! Help! I'm being abducted by a flaming ginger!” I yelled loudly, causing Alan to pick up his pace to get me inside before someone thought he was kidnapping me.

 

“Tyler, shut up!” He said through gritted teeth as we reached the house once again. He flung me down on the empty loveseat, and I laid there laughing to myself. “Damnit, Tyler. What am I going to do with you? Lydia and I have to be at her office party in like half an hour!” Josh yelled at me, raising his voice once again.

 

“You guys go. We’ll stay here with her until you get back. I don’t have anything better to do anyways, and I’m sure as hell not letting her stay here alone,” I heard Alan offer. By ‘we’ I’m assuming he meant him and Austin… lovely. Just who I needed to be around when I was drunk off my ass. I heard Josh groan in agreement. He walked over to me and kissed me on the forehead.

 

“Bye, sis. I’ll be home later. Try to tone it down, okay?” he asked me and I just mumbled incoherently in response. Lydia walked by and patted my leg before they disappeared out of the house. For some unknown reason, Kody flashed into my mind, immediately bringing me down from my fun-loving buzz. I flipped over onto my stomach and buried my face in the cushion and remained silent.

 

“Alright, man I’m gonna go run to the store and grab some aspirin and stuff for boozy over there. Would you mind keeping an eye on her for like 30 minutes?” Alan asked.

 

“Yeah, no problem,” Austin responded quietly. Alan walked over to me.

 

“Where are your car keys?” he asked and I lifted an arm and pointed in the direction of my room, at least that’s what I tried to do. He disappeared and returned momentarily. “Okay, I’ll be right back.” He said to both of us as he walked out, leaving Austin and I alone.

 

The silence surrounding us was awkward. All I could think about was Kody. Now the downside to me drinking was setting in; I tended to get really emotional. I felt the tears welling up and I let them out, my body shaking with sobs. I cried for a while before I felt a soft hand on my back. I turned my head to see Austin crouched in front of the loveseat, rubbing my back, looking at me. He didn’t say anything as he gazed into my tear-filled eyes. His hand moved up to my face, his thumb brushing away a few tears. I took a few deep breaths trying to calm myself down.

 

“Kody cheated on me,” I whispered quietly. Austin inhaled deeply, his body tensing up. “I walked in on him and some girl today. I don’t deserve this. I loved him so much,” I managed to get out before I began bawling again. I felt a pair of arms pick me up and move me over. I opened my eyes to see Austin holding me up as he took my spot on the loveseat, laying down across it and putting me partially on his lap, wrapping his arms around me as I continued to cry. I buried my face into his neck and grabbed at his shirt.

 

“Tyler, I’m so sorry. It’s going to be okay, I promise,” he whispered to me as he held me tightly. I cried for a while longer as he comforted me, my sobs eventually diminishing as the exhaustion set it. I felt Austin move his head and kiss me on the forehead, his lips lingering for a moment. I felt my heart flutter and I smiled a small smile before everything went black as the alcohol took over, sending me into an involuntary slumber.


	8. Repeating Apologies

Chapter Eight:

 

I started to stir out of my drunken sleep. I moved around a little, wondering why I couldn’t seem to move much. Suddenly I felt a pair of arms wrapped around me, squeezing me tight. My mind was racing, and as I slowly pried one eye open my heart began to race. I was still on the loveseat, where I surprisingly remember passing out, and lying next to me, his arms holding me against his warm body, his face buried in my neck, was Austin Carlile.

I took in a sharp breath and started to freak out a little. Why was he here? What exactly happened last night? I didn’t have much time to rack my brain for answers before my stomach started to grumble, and I knew what was coming next. I pulled myself from Austin’s grasp, though that was the last thing I honestly wanted to do, and climbed over him, sprinting to the nearest bathroom. I made it just in time before I started to throw up the alcohol from last night. After I finished, I still felt really sick but my stomach was empty with nothing else to dispose of. I dug through the cabinets and found a new toothbrush, opening the package quickly and brushing my teeth, ridding my mouth of the fowl taste. I fixed my hair as best as possible and walked back out into the living room. Austin was sitting up on the loveseat rubbing his beautiful face with his hands. He smiled a little when he noticed me.

 

“Good morning,” he said, his voice still coated in sleep and extremely sexy. I smiled as best as I could considering my head felt like it had been run over by a train.

 

“Hi,” I mumbled as I walked back over to the loveseat. I took a seat next to Austin, pulled my knees up to my chest, and wrapped my arms around my legs, resting my forehead on my knees. The events of last night were flooding back in rapidly: the drinking, the dancing, the stupid comments, talking to Austin about Kody, falling asleep in his arms.

 

“You okay?” he asked sweetly as his hand moved to my back, rubbing soft circles through my shirt.

 

“No,” I practically whispered. Austin was quiet for a while.

 

“Tyler, I’m, uh sorry about, uh, falling asleep with you. I didn’t mean to I swear it just happened and-“ he paused when I jerked my head up to look at him.

 

“Austin, it’s okay,” I smiled at him a little. “I’m actually glad you did. I needed a friend,” I trailed off as my eyes met his. That wasn't exactly true; I didn't need a friend... I needed him. As I gazed into his eyes I felt it again, that “force” between us; it was like I couldn’t look away. I could’ve sworn I saw his eyes travel down to my lips, returning to my eyes quickly.

 

“Well… how did you two sleep last night?” I looked up to see Alan walking in from the kitchen, a smirk playing at his lips, his eyebrows raised suspiciously. Austin rubbed the back of his neck obviously uncomfortable. My eyes were burning holes in Alan, angry about his rude interruption. Alan continued to smirk at me as he walked over and handed me some Advil and a cup of black coffee.

 

“Where’s Josh?” I asked after I popped the pills and took a big drink of the coffee.

 

“He never came home. He called at like 12:30 and said he was staying with Lydia, so we decided to stay here with you. Well, I didn’t really have a choice seeing as you two were passed out by the time I got back from the drugstore,” Alan said, giving me a small smile. Of course Josh didn’t come home. I loved Lydia, don't get me wrong: she was really nice and great for my brother, but ever since he started dating her, Josh seemed to spend almost every night with her, and almost all of his free time.

 

“Of course,” I whispered as I got up from the couch and walked off to my room. I glanced at the clock and groaned: I had class in one hour. School was the last thing I wanted to think about. My head was pounding, my eyes didn’t want to stay open, and my stomach was churning, threatening to empty itself again, but I had to go. I didn’t need to fall farther behind than I already was. I put on a pair of sweatpants and tshirt. I threw a beanie on over my messy hair and put my glasses back on my face before grabbing my books and shuffling out of my room. I was feeling pretty dizzy by the time I made it back to the living room. Austin and Alan were talking quietly on the couch, and they stopped when they saw me standing there.

 

“Will one of you please drive me to school? I don’t think I can drive right now,” I asked as I grabbed onto the wall to steady myself.

 

“I don’t think you should be going anywhere right now, Ty. You don’t look so good,” Alan responded giving me a concerned look.

 

“I have to go, Alan. I can’t just blow off school,” I paused for a while. “Austin, will you drive me then?” He glanced over at Alan before looking at me, his eyes full of worry. “If not I’ll just end up driving myself,” I stated. Austin shrugged his shoulders and shook his head before standing up.

 

“Yeah, okay. Let’s go,” he said as he grabbed my keys off of the table where Alan had left them last night.

 

“Be careful, Ty,” I heard Alan yell after me as I made my way out the door. I threw my hand up and waved at him as I walked out into the cool, Los Angeles morning, and made my way to the car. Austin unlocked it and I opened the door, sitting in the passenger seat. Austin got in the driver’s side, starting the car and backing slowly out of the driveway. I leaned my head against the side of the door and pulled my phone out. I felt tears welling at my eyes as I saw the picture of Kody and I that still occupied my background. I tossed the phone into my bag hard, and shut my eyes tight trying to stop the tears.

 

“Hey, Tyler, what’s wrong?” I heard Austin ask quietly. He reached out and grabbed my hand with his. I sat up and looked at him. He looked at me sadly as he realized what I was crying about. He directed his attention back to the road, but he intertwined his fingers with mine, rubbing circles in the palm of my hand.

 

"So… about last night," Austin said as I saw a smile form on his lips. I shook my head.

 

"No… don't talk. I don't even want to know what I said or did last night. It's better that last night remains mostly a mystery that way I can't be embarrassed over the stupid things that came out of my drunk mouth," I bit my lip and smiled, rolling my eyes at myself. Austin laughed a little, and then we both were silent for a while as he focused his attention on the road.

 

“Turn right up here,” I piped up, directing Austin to my school since he had no idea where I even went. After ten more minutes of silence we reached the school.

 

“The Art Institute of California?” he questioned as he pulled up in front of the massive campus. I smiled a little and shook my head, his hand still clutching mine tightly.

 

“Thank you for the ride. I’ll get my brother to come pick me up later,” I said as I turned to look at him.

 

“Don’t be silly. I’ll come get you when you’re done. What time should I be here, my lady?” he asked as he smiled widely at me. I began to protest but I stopped myself because honestly I wanted him to come pick me up.

 

“Um, I should be done by 2,” I said quietly.

 

“Okay, I’ll be right here at 2. If you need anything before hand call me, okay?” I squeezed his hand in response before opening my car door and getting out. I shut the door and waved at Austin as he drove away. Even after everything that had happened I couldn’t help but smile when I was near him. There was something about him that I couldn’t resist.

 

* * *

 

My classes seemed to drag on even more than normal; I was excited to know that Austin was going to be there when I was done, but I was being tortured by the monotony of my classes. When 2 o’clock rolled around I couldn’t wait to leave. I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket and I pulled it out; it was a text from Austin.

 

Austin: So Sorry!! Running a few minutes behind! I’m speeding!!! I’ll be there soon!

 

I smiled and sat on a bench out front to wait for him. I began to put my phone back in my bag when it started to ring. This time I wasn’t so happy to see the caller ID. It was Kody.

 

“What?” I asked harshly as I answered the phone. He had been calling all day and I needed to put it to an end.

 

“Tyler, I’m glad you answered. Listen to me we need to talk. Please, I’m begging you. I love you so much.” Kody stammered through the phone.

 

“Well, you sure have a great way of showing it. I’m leaving school now and I’m coming over to get my stuff. I’ll give you 5 minutes while I’m getting my things and then I don’t ever want to talk to you again. Got it?” I kept my voice angry though all I really wanted to do was breakdown and cry. He quietly mumbled in acknowledgment before I saw Austin speed through the parking lot. I hung up the phone and stood up as he got out of a car that I did not recognize.

 

“I am so sorry, Ty! I went home and my manager called and wouldn’t quit talking about work stuff and-“ I cut him off as I walked up to him and hugged him quickly before walking to the door.

 

“Austin it’s okay,” I got into his car and he made his way over the driver’s side and got in. I looked at him and he eyed me questioningly. “Would you, um, mind doing me a favor?” I asked quickly and quietly. He shook his head and I continued. “Will you drive me to Kody’s so I can get my stuff? I only need 5 minutes….” I trailed off. His demeanor changed; he looked angry. “I mean if you have somewhere to be its fine I can go later.”

 

“No. I’ll take you it’s no problem.” He directed his gaze towards the road. We drove in silence the rest of the way except for me telling him how to get to the apartment complex. As we parked I felt tears stinging at my eyes. He grabbed my face with his hands. “Are you going to be okay?” I took a deep breath and choked the tears back as I shook my head. I got out of the car; it was chilly now and it was starting to rain a little. I jogged up the stairs to the door and knocked loudly, wrapping my arms around myself as I waited for him to answer the door.

 

“Tyler, I’m so glad you’re here. I missed you so much,” Kody stuttered as he opened the door. He reeked of alcohol, and I shoved past him into the apartment as he closed the door behind us.

 

“Why are you drunk in the middle of the day?” I questioned angrily as I walked to his bedroom to get the few things that I had left over here.

 

“I just miss you so much. I screwed up big time, and I know that, but I love you. And I know you love me too,” he responded as he followed me. I opened his drawers and pulled out some of the clothes I had left here. I grabbed some of my albums and books that he had before making my way back to the living room, Kody right on my heels.

 

“You’re right, Kody. I do love you. But I deserve better than you. I’m not going to stay with someone who cheats on me. I won’t be that person,” I felt the tears coming but I tried to hide them. He walked to me swiftly and kissed me. “Stop, Kody, get off. We’re done. I told you that,” I tried to push him away, but he was stronger than me and he pulled me against him, shoving his tongue down my throat. I squirmed in his grasp. "Get off of me!" I yelled as loudly as I could. Suddenly, Kody's demeanor changed, his eyes flickering from sadness and guilt to anger. He tightened his grip on me until I was cringing in pain.

 

“Don’t talk to me like that. You don’t deserve better than me. You’re a little bitch who expects everyone to fawn over her. In reality you’re nothing. I don’t know why I even dated you in the first place,” Kody yelled in my face. I pushed him as hard as I could away from me and tried to get to the door, but he grabbed my wrist and threw me against the wall, my head hitting the plaster wall hard before I fell to the ground.The impact of my head hitting the wall made me dizzy, and I was in a lot of pain. Kody leaned over me, grabbing my arm as hard as he could. “I didn’t give you permission to leave.”

 

He reared his fist back and hit my face hard; I shrieked in pain. He pulled his fist back once again and I prepared myself for another blow that never came. Instead I saw Kody fall to the floor as someone jumped on him, beating him senseless. My head was pounding and I couldn’t focus my vision on who had intervened. I closed my eyes and laid my head back, trying to keep myself calm. After what seemed like an eternity the noise around me came to a halt and I felt a pair of arms wrap around me, picking me up off the ground. I opened my eyes to see Austin carrying me quickly out of the apartment and down the stairs back to the car.

 

The adrenaline was flooding my system, keeping the pain at bay for the time being. I was stunned at what had just happened, and I couldn't seem to think straight. Austin opened the car door and sat me in the passenger seat slowly. I opened my eyes and looked at him as he gently ran his thumb over the bruise that was forming on my face. I winced a little and he gave me an apologetic look. His eyes were sad and angry, his body tense. He just stared at me for a while, neither of us saying anything.

 

"I'm going to take you to the hospital," Austin finally said as he made his way to the drivers seat.

 

"No! No, I'm not going. Just take me home, I'll be okay," I said, remaining adamant about not going to the ER, that was the last thing I needed right now. Austin stared at me for a while before sighing in defeat. He grabbed my hand, squeezing hard as he drove back to my house, the only sound audible was the rain pelting the car. My face was starting to hurt, but I didn't know what to feel; I wanted to scream and yell and cry, but I couldn't. My phone started to buzz in my bag and I pulled it out, wincing at the sudden movement. I could see Austin glance worriedly over at me. I read the text message.

 

Josh: Hey sis. Sorry I didn't come home last night, you were in good hands though, I hear ;) Anyway, Lydia and I are going to San Diego for the weekend. I'll be back sometime on Monday. Enjoy having the house to yourself, but no more vodka! Kisses.

 

I set my phone back in my bag, not bothering to respond. The tears were threatening to pour out now; I was going to be all alone. No one cared about me, no one at all. The adrenaline was fading from my system and the pain was almost too much to bear. We arrived at my house a short time later, Josh's car was already gone. Austin rushed over to my side of the car and picked me up, carrying me to the house. He dug for my house key and let us in, taking me immediately to my bedroom. He laid me down on my bed, and as he did I broke down hysterically.

 

"Tyler, I'm so so sorry," he whispered as he kissed my forehead. I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him close as he stood next to my bed. He started to pull away after a while.

 

"Please, Austin. Don't go," I whispered quietly. He looked me in my eyes and I basically pleaded with him. He closed his eyes momentarily and shook his head before taking his shoes off and climbing into my bed next to me. He laid there for a while on the other side, not saying anything. I took a chance and moved next to him. He looked down at me before wrapping his arms around me and pulling me into him. I laid my head on his chest as my crying subsided to sobs; I felt safe in his arms. He had saved me.

 

It was at that moment that I realized I was falling in love with Austin Carlile.


	9. Bones Exposed

Chapter Nine:

 

"Please, Austin. Don't go," Tyler whispered quietly, as I tried to pull away. I looked into her eyes; she looked broken and scared and alone, and it broke my heart. She was practically pleading with me to stay, and I wanted to, more than anything, but I was hesitant. With everything that had happened today I didn't want to take advantage of the situation, of her being so vulnerable. I closed my eyes and sighed, shaking my head; I couldn't leave her alone.

I slipped my shoes off and laid on the other side of the bed listening to the soft rain hitting the windows in her room. Out of the corner of my eye I saw her inch towards me. I glanced over at her, at the tears sliding silently down her rosy cheeks. She needed comfort, and I wanted to give it to her, but I didn't want to hurt her, in more ways than one. After a few moments of contemplation, I softly wrapped my arms around her trying not to hurt her bruised body, and she laid her head on my chest. She seemed to relax a little as we laid there together, but I couldn't; I was still angry that that asshole had hurt her, and I couldn't just let it go.

"How did you know?" her fragile voice cracked as she spoke, breaking the silence that surrounded us.

"How did I know what?" I whispered, confused at what she was asking.

"How did you know what was going on? That I needed help?" she replied. I felt my body tense as I thought about it again. She must've felt it too because she squeezed me tightly in response telling me that it's okay.

"You were up there for a while and I got worried so I figured I'd come check on you. I was about to knock on the door and I heard a loud bang and a bunch of yelling so I went in and that's when I saw..." my voice trailed off as I thought back to what I saw when I burst through that apartment door: Tyler was laying on the ground, Kody on top of her, holding on to her so hard his knuckles were turning white, and he hit her right in the face. I remembered Tyler yelping in pain, and then I lost it. I grabbed him before he could hit her again and tossed him to the ground. I hit him as hard as I could, over and over; I couldn't make myself stop. I was seeing red, I was so angry.

How could anyone do that to a woman? Especially someone like Tyler. She's just so… I can't even explain it. Whatever she has, I'm drawn to her; there's something between us. I feel it everytime I'm near her, but I'm not sure if she does.

"Thank you," I heard her whisper, pulling me out of my thoughts. I leaned down and kissed the top of her head.

"Are you sure you're okay? I really think you need to go see a doctor, Tyler," I questioned.

"No, I'll be okay. I'm just gonna go get some Advil or something," she started to move to get up, but I stopped her.

"I'll get it. Stay here," I sat up slowly so I didn't hurt her and I walked off to the bathroom, down the hall. I got her some Advil and walked to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water. As I made my way back to her room, I could hear her talking on the phone to someone.

"I know, I'm sorry it's been so long I've been really busy… now isn't really the best time… she did? Okay, yeah I'll be there in a little bit. Thanks… bye," she hung up the phone and walked over to the mirror, wincing as she saw the damage done to her face. She pulled out some makeup and began to apply it to the bruise. I knocked slightly on the door and she turned and gave me a sad smile.

"Here," I handed her the pills and the water, she smiled gratefully and took them before walking back and finishing covering her face.

"I, uh, have something I have to go, um, take care of. I shouldn't be long and you're welcome to stay here if you want, but I'm sure you have other stuff to do which is fine," she said as she looked at me quickly before turning back to the mirror and fixing her ponytail and putting her glasses back on. She looked sad and scared and I didn't want her to leave.

"I actually don't, but do you really think you need to leave right now, Ty?" I questioned before mentally slapping myself. It wasn't my place to tell her what to do. She turned to me and shrugged her shoulders.

"It's just, um, something I have to do," she stuttered the words out, and I was getting worried about where she was going, but I knew better than to pry into her business.

 

"When does Josh get off work?" I asked, worried about her being alone later.

"He went out of town for the weekend with Lydia," she said as her face dropped. I walked over to her and hugged her softly and she winced a little.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to," I looked down into her eyes. "I'll be here when you get back so I can make sure you're okay," I said. She nodded her head, smiling weakly, before walking out of the bedroom, out the door into the rain.

I rubbed my hands over my face. I couldn't pinpoint what it was about her, but one thing I knew for sure: I was falling in love with her, and I was falling hard.

* * *

Tyler's P.O.V:

After a while of driving through the pouring rain I finally pulled up to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center. I parked and pulled my hood up over my hair before I ran quickly into the building, cursing under my breath at the pain I was in. I smiled at the ladies at the front desk before I made my way to the elevator, pushing the button to take me up to the 8th floor. I tapped my foot in nervousness the entire way up, and took a deep breath in as the elevator came to a stop and the doors opened revealing the Psychiatric Ward. I walked towards the check-in desk and smiled at the lady sitting behind it.

"Well, well, well. How are you doing, honey? We haven't seen ya around here in a while!" Sheila exclaimed.

"Yeah it's been kinda busy lately," I mumbled. I always hated myself when I thought about how little I made it here. Sheila handed me my visitors pass and I smiled and thanked her before walking down the all too familiar hallway towards room 46B. I stood outside of the room trying to collect myself before I went in. I knocked lightly on the half open door before walking partially into the small room.

"Tyler! You came! I was hoping you would come! I've missed you so much!" she said as she turned and slowly hobbled over to where I was standing. She pulled me into a hug and I winced a little, but hugged her back.

 

"Hi, mum. I've missed you too."


	10. You're Not Alone

Chapter Ten:

 

My mum took a seat on the small couch in her room and motioned me over. I stuck my hands in the front pocket of my sweatshirt and walked slowly over, sitting next to her. I was quiet and reserved; I didn't want to get my hopes up that today would be better than last time, and the time before that, and the time before that. She was smiling widely at me; she looked happy, and it broke my heart. I bit my bottom lip and gave her a sly smile.

 

"So, when did your plane land, honey? Did you just get in?" she asked and my heart dropped; I should expect this by now. It's been long enough that I should know she won't remember anything, but everytime I get the courage to come here I always hope that she will snap out of it, that I'll get my mum back. But it never happens, and when she's in a good enough mental state for visitors we end up having this same, exact conversation every time I visit her.

"Yeah, Mum, I got in a few hours ago," I replied as I forced a fake smile. The doctor said there was no point in trying to tell her when she was wrong and that things have changed, that we should just go along with it to avoid overwhelming her and freaking her out.

 

"And was your flight okay? It's what, about a 6 hour flight from Nashville to LAX?" she questioned and I nodded my head.

 

"Yeah, something like that." I looked at her scarred face as I fought the urge to cry.

 

"And have you seen Joshua yet? That boy is quite a handful. I talked to him yesterday and he said he misses you a lot so I hope you two get to spend some time together. And I'm sure Alan misses you too!" Her face lit up as she talked about my brother and Alan; she hadn't talked to Josh yesterday. She hadn't talked to him in years, but I wouldn't tell her that. I liked seeing her smile.

 

"Yep I went and saw him earlier and I'm going to stay with him while I'm in town. I missed him too. I missed you a lot, mum. I'm glad you're feeling good today," I reached out and grabbed her hand and squeezed it tightly and she patted the top of my hand with her free hand.

 

"I missed you, too Tyler Bean! I'm just glad you're out in Nashville going to school and making friends and having fun. You deserve that and I'm so happy for you!" I had to fight back the tears as she spoke; she hadn't called me Tyler Bean since before everything happened. I reached out and hugged her. Even though her memory was stuck in the past I felt like my mum was there with me for the first time in a long time.

 

It was days like today that I missed her the most. I needed my mum to hold me and tell me that everything would be okay, that I didn't deserve what Kody did to me, that I wasn't as worthless as I feel, that I am loved by someone. It killed me to know that I would never have that again.

"I love you, mummy," I whispered like I did when I was younger as I hugged her.

 

"I love you too, sweetie pie." She pulled away from me. "I almost forgot to tell you! When you see your father will you have him bring me some new clothes? I'm getting tired of the ones I have here and you know how I am about always looking my best! I tried to call him earlier but he didn't answer. I guess he was busy at work or something." She was smiling as big as can be. My body tensed and a tear escaped my clutches against my will. I felt my lip quivering as it did before I broke down and I dug my fingers into my thighs to try to stop that from happening.

 

"Yeah, okay Mum, I'll have him do that tomorrow," I barely choked out as I looked down at my hands, keeping my gaze away from hers. We were both silent for a long time as I stared at the ground.

 

"Who are you? What are you doing here?" She yelled suddenly, jumping up from the couch. "I don't know you! Get out of here!"

 

And there she went. She was gone, just like that. I knew it was bound to happen eventually, but I wanted a few more minutes with her before she relapsed. I stood up and pushed the button on the wall like I had done too many times to count over the past 2 years. I stood against the wall on the other side of the room as she screamed at the top of her lungs. The tears were falling out now and my body was shaking. The nurses ran in and subdued her, lying her down on her bed and injecting her with a sedative. She drifted into unconsciousness as they turned and walked out of the room, smiling sadly at me. I walked over to her bed and leaned down and kissed her forehead.

 

"Bye, Mum. I love you so much. I miss you more than I ever thought I would." I kissed the scar on her cheek before I turned and ran out of the room, down the hall, and to the elevator as quickly as I could. I didn't want to have to talk to her doctor, I didn't want to face Sheila. I didn't need them telling me that this was part of her injury, that this was normal and I should expect it. I didn't want to expect it… I just wanted my mum back.

 

After I made it down to the lobby I walked slowly out into the pouring rain, no longer caring about getting drenched. I shuffled slowly to my car, letting the rain soak me, the raindrops hiding my tears. I got in my car and drove back to my empty house, wishing I could rewind the clock back before all this happened.

My mom was right; I was happy then. Everything was perfect and my life was great.

Now it was nothing but a pile of shit.

 

* * *

 

I pulled into the driveway hardly noticing that Austin's car was still there. I looked at my reflection in the mirror: my red hair was beginning to curl from the rain, my eye makeup was running violently down my face, my powder was gone revealing the gruesome bruise that had formed on my cheek. I couldn't bring myself to care; I felt numb.

 

I got out of the car and walked into the house. Austin was sitting on the couch drinking a beer and watching tv. He turned and smiled at me but I didn't even acknowledge him before I made my way to my room solemnly. I collapsed on the floor and leaned against my bed and sobbed loudly, not caring if Austin would hear. I couldn't hold it in anymore. I put my face in my hands as I cried, my body shaking violently as black tears stained my hands. I heard quick, loud footsteps pounding down the hall coming closer.

 

"Tyler, what's wrong?" Austin almost yelled, his voice full of worry. He crouched down in front of where I was sitting and stroked my hair. My wet clothes were clinging to me and I was beginning to shiver violently as my body temperature dropped rapidly. My crying stopped as my teeth chattered and I looked up at Austin. "Jeez, Tyler, you're soaked. C'mon let's get you out of these clothes before you freeze to death." I shook my head slightly as he grabbed my arms and pulled me off the floor. I shrieked in pain and pulled away from him, biting my lip in pain. His face dropped when he realized what he had done. "I'm so sorry, I-I forgot," he mumbled as he looked to the ground before walking towards me.

 

He grabbed my hand and pulled me to the bathroom down the hall, sitting me on the edge of the bathtub. I sat there and played with my sleeves as Austin fumbled around in the cabinets for something. I looked up as he wet a washcloth with hot water, adding soap to it. He walked over and crouched in front of me again and began to wipe as gently as he could at the makeup stains on my face. He moved to the other side and dabbed softly around my bruise, careful not to hurt me. I just stared in his eyes as he cleaned my face off.

 

He walked me back to my room and slowly helped me tug my soaking wet sweatshirt up over my head. I wouldn't feel comfortable with any other guy helping me this way, not even Alan. Most guys would take things to far, take advantage of the situation, but I knew Austin wouldn't, and I was right. He dropped the sweatshirt in my laundry basket, leaving me in my jeans and a thin tanktop. I reached down and tried to pull my tanktop up, but the pain was too much to bear and I winced. Austin looked at me sadly before helping me pull the black piece of clothing off of my body, leaving only my bra to cover my upper half. He drew in a sharp breath as he looked at me, and I walked over in front of the mirror; my hand shot up over my mouth in horror as I gazed at my almost-naked torso. My side was covered in a deep, black bruise, that ran almost the entire length of my side and encroached on my back and stomach a little. I moved my hand down allowing my fingers to trace it lightly as I choked back tears. My arms were marked with Kody's handprints in several different spots.

 

Austin handed me t-shirt, and I took it graciously, slipping it slowly over my body. I bent down and pulled off my jeans, trading them for a pair of soft sweatpants, trying to ignore the bruises I could see forming on my thighs. I sat down on the edge of the bed and Austin picked up my hairbrush and sat behind me; he began to brush my hair gently, careful not to allow the bristles to rub the back of my head too hard where it was sore from my impact with the wall.

 

I didn't know why he was doing all of this, why he was being so nice and thoughtful and kind. I didn't deserve it, and he didn't even really know me that well. No one had ever treated me this way; I guess that's why I had a hard time accepting his gracious efforts.

 

"You hungry?" He asked as he played with my hair. He had finished brushing it a while ago but we just sat there in silence as he tangled his fingers in my curly red hair.

 

"Yeah, a little," my voice cracked as I spoke. I stood off the bed and he grabbed my hand. He interlaced our fingers and I glanced up at him to see him looking down at me. I gave him a small smile and he returned the favor. I sat on the couch and pulled a blanket over myself as I directed my attention to the TV in front of me. Austin returned from the kitchen a short time later with two sandwiches and two glasses of water.

 

"Thank you," I said as he handed me the sandwich. He sat next to me and we ate in silence. He was really interested in the show that was playing on the TV; I pretended to be, but my mind was elsewhere, replaying everything that happened in one short day. We finished our food and Austin got up to take the dishes to the kitchen. He came back and sat next to me, closer this time.

"Ty, you can talk to me if you need to. I'm not pressuring you to, but I will gladly listen." He whispered to me as he reached for the remote and muted the television.

 

"Haven't I put you through enough today, Austin?" I answered quietly as I fidgeted with my fingers. He put his fingers under my chin and turned my face so I was looking at him.

 

"Don't think like that." He paused as if he was going to continue but he didn't. I got up and motioned to him that I would return. I made my way to my room and dug through my bag. I found what I was looking for: my visitors pass from the hospital. I wasn't really supposed to take it with me; they were supposed to stay with the nurses, but I was in such a rush to leave that I hadn't even thought about giving it back. I walked back out to Austin and took my seat again.

I handed him the small, plastic badge and watched as he read what was printed on the front.

 

It had my picture on the front, an old picture from 2 years ago when the pass was made; I looked different: my hair was shoulder length and dark brown. My nose and ears weren't pierced yet, and I didn't have a single tattoo.

It said my full name: Tyler Elaine Rhodes

Underneath that it said: Visitor. Cedars-Sinai Medical Center- Psychiatric Ward

His eyes scanned the pass before he looked up at me, his face confused at what exactly I was showing him.

 

"This is where I went tonight. This was what I had to take care of," I said. He still didn't understand what I was saying, but he remained quiet allowing me to continue. "I went to go visit my mom." My eyes flashed to his and he looked sad again. It seemed like everytime I talked I made him sad, and I hated myself for that.

 

"Tyler-" he mumbled before he stopped himself. He set the pass down on the coffee table and directed his attention back to me.

 

"Two years ago my parents were in a really bad car accidnet- my dad had been drinking a little and he lost control and rolled the car while they were going 80 mph. My mom wasn't wearing her seatbelt, and before she was thrown from the car her head went through the windshield. She suffered major frontal lobe damage..." I trailed off as I tried to keep myself from crying. Austin reached out and grabbed my hands in his, rubbing them softly with his thumb. I took a deep breath. "Her memory is really screwed up. She can't remember anything from the time of the crash on. She can only remember things that happened more than two years ago. Besides that her memory cuts in and out: on good days she can remember things from the past, but on bad days she can't even remember who you are or where she is."

 

I paused as I let Austin take it all in. He wasn't looking at me, he was staring at our hands grasped together. He looked up at me and shook his head, signaling me to go on.

 

"I haven't been to see her in 6 months. It's too hard, and it makes me miss her so much. But that phone call earlier-it was her doctor. She was having a really good day and she was asking for me, which hardly ever happens." I stopped talking and Austin squeezed my hand.

"So, you went and saw her? Did you guys have a good conversation?" He asked. The tone in his voice suggested he really was interested.

"At first, yeah. She knew who I was but she still thinks its 2 years ago. She referenced certain things about the past."

 

"Like what?" He asked before he cringed at himself. "Sorry, I didn't mean to pry," he mumbled.

 

"It's okay. After I graduated I moved to Nashville to go to school, and that's where I was when the accident happened. So she still believes that I am going to school there. She asked me how my flight was and said how happy she was that I was having a good time at school and making friends," I felt tears poking at my eyes and I tried to blink them away. "She asked about Josh. Josh hasn't even gone to see her since she has been in the hospital; I guess he can't do it, but as far as she knows they talked on the phone yesterday. She started talking about Alan and Josh, and how crazy they are and how she thinks they are a 'handful'." Austin leaned over and kissed my forehead as I felt a few tears fall from my eyes. "The worst part was when she started to talk about my dad." I couldn't continue; it was too much for me.

 

"It's okay, Ty. You don't have to finish," he said as he pulled he carefully into his side, wrapping his arms around me as I rested my head on his chest.

 

"My dad died in the crash," I finally managed to reveal. "She doesn't remember that. We aren't supposed to tell her things that she doesn't remember; we are supposed to go along with what she is saying, and when she brought up my dad I lost it. It was really hard to pretend that he was alive and tell her that he will call her tomorrow." Austin rubbed my side gently as not to harm my bruise. "But things turned sour, as they always do when I go visit her. She just snaps all of a sudden; it's like she's gone. She doesn't know me, doesn't know why I'm there, and she starts throwing a fit and screaming and yelling until the nurses come in and sedate her. It has happened so many times over the years, but after everything that happened recently I really needed my mom, and seeing that she wasn't there anymore... it broke me." The tears rolled steadily out of my eyes as I stopped talking.

 

"Tyler, I'm so sorry. I know that doesn't mean much; trust me, I know." he was quiet for a moment. "My mom died when I was 17. She had a heart condition that I have to. One day she was here and then she wasn't anymore. She was my best friend, and there have been so many times these last 8 years that I needed her and she wasn't here. So I understand what you're feeling."

 

I took a deep breath and let it out, calming my tears and steadying my breathing. I had sat here and spilled practically my life story to this man, who I hardly even knew in all honesty, and he had sat here and listened; no judgment, nothing. He actually cared, for some unknown reason. But add on the fact that he somewhat understood, I can't even explain it.

 

I pulled my head from his chest and looked up at him. His eyes met mine and his lips tugged into a small smile. I gazed into his big brown eyes for a while, him gazing back into mine, before I did what I wanted to do since the moment I first met him. I leaned my head up and kissed his lips softly. He responded, his arms tightening around me. The kiss was quick, nothing too passionate or crazy; it was perfect. I pulled my lips from his and put my head back on his chest as he kissed the top of my head.

 

"Thank you. For everything. For saving me, for listening, for being here when no one else was," I whispered.

 

"Your welcome," he replied quietly. "You tired?" he asked and I nodded my head. He helped me up from the couch and we walked to my room still tangled in each other's arms. As we reached my bed I turned and hugged him, burying my face in his chest as my arms wrapped around his waist, his around my shoulders.

 

"Will you stay with me tonight? I don't want to be alone," I murmed into his chest.

 

"Of course I will," he responded. I seperated from him and crawled into my warm bed, pulling the blankets up to my chin. Austin shut the light off and walked to the other side. In the darkness I could see him remove his shirt, leaving him in just a pair of shorts, before he climbed in. He scooted over to me and pulled my back against his bare chest as he wrapped his arms around me and rested his chin on my shoulder. I had never "spooned" with anyone before, it always felt too intimate for me, but with Austin it felt perfect.

 

"Goodnight, Tyler," he whispered into my ear.

 

"Goodnight, Austin," I whispered back before we both drifted off into a long, peaceful sleep.


	11. Second & Sebring

Chapter Eleven:

 

Tyler's P.O.V:

The sun streamed through the blinds, causing me to squint as I tried to open my eye. I yawned as I blinked my eyes a few times, trying to pull myself out of sleep. I smiled as I realized that Austin was still there holding me close to him. I felt butterflies in my stomach as I thought about last night; I kissed him, and he kissed me back. It wasn't really anything exciting, just a small peck, but it meant something to me. I liked to think it meant something to him, too, but I wasn't sure. I mean, he was being incredibly sweet, he had stayed with me and cuddled all night. I couldn't help but feel like he was doing it out of pity, trying to make me feel better about everything that was going on with me. I was confused, but I wasn't strong enough to come right out and ask him how he felt. Honestly, I was afraid to hear the answer.

I reached for my phone to see that it was only 9:30. I had to be at work in 2 hours, so I slowly pulled myself out of Austin's grasp and got out of the bed. I smiled as I saw him stir a little bit, but he fell back to sleep. I walked to my closet and grabbed some new clothes before walking to the bathroom down the hall. I was more sore than I ever thought possible, everything hurt, and my cheek was throbbing. I looked at myself in the mirror and cringed at the bruise on my face; it looked horrible and was turning a stunning variety of colours. I slowly stripped out of my pajamas, wincing again at the bruises that covered the rest of my body.

I stepped under the steaming hot water, letting my body relax, even though my mind wouldn't. I couldn't stop thinking about my mom and how much I missed her. I thought about my dad, almost crying at the thought. Then there was the whole mess with Kody and I didn't even know what to think about the confused feelings I had for Austin.

I stepped out of the shower, shivering as the chilly air surrounded my body. I pulled on a pair of long, black leggings, and put on a red tanktop. I wasn't in the mood to blow dry my hair so I put some product in it and threw it into a bun on top of my head. I put my contacts in before walking back to my room to grab my makeup. I tiptoed in so I wouldn't wake Austin, but I was surprised to see he wasn't there. I wandered out into the living room, which was empty, before making my way to the kitchen.

Austin was standing at the stove cooking something, still only wearing his shorts. I bit my lip a little bit as I stared at his chiseled body, taking in the sight of his tattoos. After a while I cleared my throat and he turned and smiled at me.

"Morning, sunshine! Hungry?" he asked as he put whatever he was making on a couple of plates and turned and carried them to the table.

"You made pancakes?" I asked in disbelief. No one had ever done anything like that for me before.

"Yeah. I hope that's okay, I-" I stopped him from rambling.

"Thank you. I love pancakes," I walked to the fridge and grabbed the butter and some orange juice, setting them on the table. He brought the syrup over and we sat next to each other. I was fixing my pancakes to my liking and I saw him look over at me out of the corner of my eyes. His hand came up to my face, his thumb running back and forth over my bruise softly.

"You okay?" he asked, his eyes full of worry.

"Mhmm," I replied shaking my head as I took a drink of my juice. His fingers moved under my chin and turned my face to look at him. He raised an eyebrow at me.

"Tyler..." he said. I bit down on my bottom lip as he stared into my eyes.

"Fine. No, everything hurts really bad. But I will be okay... eventually," I tore away from his gaze and focused on my food as I cut up my pancakes and began to eat slowly. Austin finally directed his gaze back to his own food and began to eat as well.

"Tyler? Is Austin here? I saw his car outside!" I heard a voice yell from the living room as the front door slammed shut.

"In here ginger!" I yelled, my mouth full of the delicious pancakes.

"Oh. Hey what're you guys-" Alan stopped as he entered the kitchen staring at us.

"What?" I asked as I chewed my food. His face crept into a small grin.

"Awww look at you two being all cute and what not! I love this!" he squealed as he clapped his hands together. I blushed and I could've sworn I saw Austin do the same. I finished my food and stood up from the table to put my dishes in the dishwasher.

"Okay, awkward silence. Anyway, we have a meeting in an hour, man," Alan said to Austin. I turned to walk back to finish getting dressed. "Woah. What's this?" Alan stopped me from exiting the kitchen as he noticed my face. "Tyler what the hell happened to you?" His voice was loud now as he examined my face.

"It's, uh, nothing. I fell," I pushed my way past him and walked hurridly to my room. I put a black jacket on to hide the bruises on my arms and shoved my makeup into my purse so I could do it in the car; I needed to get out of here before Alan had the chance to ask any more questions. I wasn't ready to talk about it to anyone else yet. I put my sunglasses on my face and grabbed my keys and my phone. I walked back out to see Alan and Austin standing in the living room. "Gotta go to work. Later, boys," I hurriedly rushed out the door to my car, driving off quickly, leaving the guys there confused.

I drove to work and sat in the parking lot, carefully applying my makeup to cover the big purple and yellow mark on my face. I began to get out of the car to head into the mall when I heard my phone buzz. I pulled it out and smiled at the text message on the screen.

Austin: Have a good day. I'll be around if you need me. xo See you later?

My heart began to beat rapidly in my chest. I texted back, laughing at my response.

Me: If you're lucky ;)

I put my phone back into my purse and walked into the mall towards the shoe store. I was working with Chris and Angie today; they were pretty cool so I figured today would go smoothly.

"Hey, Tyler! You're in charge of the stockroom for the first few. Cool?" Angie questioned as I walked in. I nodded my head; I was glad I would get to spend most of the day in the back going through inventory. I clocked in and took a seat at the desk as I pulled out the paperwork I needed to go through. My phone buzzed once again.

Austin: Ouch! Guess I better play my cards right then...

I smiled at my phone like an idiot. The way this boy made me feel, even after all the shit that had gone down, was incredible. I was so happy, especially when I was around him. I pulled my iPod out and put my headphones in my ears. I spent the next few hours listening to music and doing paperwork.

Oh... and texting Austin the entire time.

Maybe he did like me after all? One could only hope...


End file.
